It was inevitable: if we continued along the lines which our electronic behavior indicated would happen, we would lose one of our most personal and cherished possessions: our names. For example, I am no longer known as K. Gordon Oppenheimer, but, rather, I am known as kaygo@erols.com, like it or not. My secretary seems to have no problem conversing in dotcom language although I confess that I am baffled. The standard opening of a telephone call might go something like this:

"businessbanking@presidential.com, good morning."1

"Good morning. I would like to speak to http://www.eye.nist.gov/deregulation-workshop"

"I am sorry, but he is not at his desk at the moment. Can someone else help you?"

"Well, is www.practicalcomputerinc.com available?"

"No, but perhaps you can reach her assistant, http://www.guavainteractive.com on her cell phone. That number is 1-800-233-5555 or you might use FAX 202-334-6724."

As soon as my secretary answered the next call and began to speak dotcom in sanskrit, I concluded that it was time to retire.

Who thought up "dot" anyhow? People have been perfectly happy with calling a period a period over these many years. Not only has "period" become "dot," but "edu," "org" and "gov" have largely disappeared from the lexicon. Dotcom, however, appears with alarming frequency in radio and television advertising and seems to have taken on a life of its own. Like so many things in this age of technology, we have succumbed to the superior

knowledge of our children in all things technical and we no longer offer challenges to their response to our questions.

Inevitably, there must come a reference book which contains an alphabetical listing of E-Mail numbers so that those who want information on an E-Mail address will have the means to acquire it. Some people, however, are intimidated by the very thought of a telephone book composed of E-Mail numbers, as well they might. Just the thought of such a telephone book printed with dotcom addresses is enough to send the average E-mail user scurrying back to the "standard" telephone directory. E-mail seems to have been designed from its inception to confuse and to confound, beginning with the lack of uniformity of its name.

Perceptive readers may have noticed that, up to this point in this document, standardization has not been a distinguishing characteristic of the system. For instance, is it E-Mail, or E-mail, or E-MAIL or perhaps e-mail or even email? You say that you don't really care? Maybe not, but careless decisions in matters of this magnitude can be expected to run afoul of Y2K and then you are really in trouble.

There appears to be an insatiable demand for dotcom addresses which ordinary suppliers are unable to meet. To rectify this situation, enterprising users have begun to carry around with them a supply of blank dotcom addresses and when an E-Mail number is needed, simply add the spare dotcom to the number and voila! This may lead to some rather ludicrous results when a full sentence is used as the base for the number. The following may seem somewhat ridiculous, but it illustrates the direction in which we are going.

Gottagonowbecausedinnerisbeingserved.com

Howwelliknowwhatimeantodo.com

NOTES:
1. There is no need to use fictitious numbers; actual numbers will serve our purposes very well.

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