LA DUC DI SIENA
An Opera in Three Acts

The Characters:
Giuseppe Attavani, Duke of Pescara
Mario, Brother-in-Law of Portfirio
Magda Serpio, Mistress of Carlo Bettarini, an Italian General
Enrico, Lover of Carolina1
Giacomo Starinnio, Duke of Siena
Giacomo LaFiorini, Husband of Claudia
Claudia, Wife of Giacomo LaFiorini
Luigi, Lover of Magda Serpio
Lina, Mistress of Giacomo LaFiorini
Guillaume, a French Officer and Lover of Lina
Antonio, Lover of Magda Serpio
Olivia Berninni, Sister of Carolina
Sir Roger Graystone-Smyth, British Ambassador
Servants, Italian soldiers, French soldiers, waiters, cooks, etc.

Early evening. Luigi is locked in a tight embrace with Magda behind a large tree on the estate of General Bettarini.

Magda: Ah!

Luigi: Oh!

Magda: Notte e giorno faticar. (You are wrinkling my blouse).

Luigi: No. Here comes Carolina.

Magda: Per che nulla sa gradir, piova e vento sopportar faticar Carolina? (Do you want me to take off this blouse and give it to Carolina to be pressed?)

Luigi: You know that I don't understand your Italian.

Magda: (Thinking that his English means that he is propositioning her) Mangiar male e mal dormir (Of course I'm willing to sleep with you). Claudia voglio la scala Enrico?

Luigi: Si. Si.

General Bettarini, hidden behind a dumpster, overhears this conversation, but because he understands no English, he puts the conversation in the back of his mind and turns to the business at hand. He beckons Lina2 to follow him to the bedroom.

On the main staircase, they discover Duke Attavani dueling with Duke Starinnio. Bettarini asks Attavani if he has seen Olivia Berninni and as Attavani turns to answer him, Duke Starinnio runs Attavani through with his sword. Olivia comes running to see what has happened. (She sings about the difficulty of cleaning up blood).

Duke Starinnio: E trema al mio fornicato?

Olivia: Si. Questa furia disperata mi vuol ti sapro. (Yes, but it gets tougher every day to find an empty bed around this joint.)

Bettarini and Lina: Sta' a veder che il malandrino? (What are you guys going to do about this body?)

Olivia and Duke Starinnio: Ah! gia cadde il sciagurato affannosa e agonizzante gia dal seno palpitante veggo l'anima partir e pepperoni (We don't know).

Bettarini enters, sees Enrico and Carolina, and sings the well-known aria "Il Padre! Il Padre! Il Padre! Padre mio! Padre mio! Padre mio! Oy!"

Luigi, Magda, and Olivia enter, and Magda sings the famous aria to her homeland where she longs to be:

Magda: Dunque, quand'e cosi. Caro signor padrone la vita my beloved homeland. Che menate e da broccoli! Patria, oh Patria, how I miss you!

Luigi: But this is your homeland. You were born here and have never been outside of Salerno!

Enter Mario, Portfirio, LaFiorini, Claudia, Antonio, two cooks, two servants, a waiter and two French soldiers. They sing "Who Cares Where She Comes From? Let's Eat."

Claudia, a soprano, sings loudly to overcome the numerous male voices. She sings : "Al contata mio da Stromboli e pizza, mine. Pizza, pizza mio, si no evil, si non, si non!"

Enter Olivia, Lina, Guillaume and two Italian soldiers. The stage is so crowded that nine Italian soldiers who are supposed to form a chorus must remain off stage. Mario sings the praises of the King and Guillaume interrupts him to ask: "Muoio da King?" (Is the King murdered?) Mario ignores him and continues singing:

"Da King es da King; The Queen es da Queen. Simpatico della Bourbonoso."

Olivia: "Non posso non grazia" (Not any more they aren't!)

Mario: "Come facemmo?" (Why not?)"

Olivia: "Tre scalini duo di vestibule Antonio. (Ask Antonio)"

Mario: "Antonio?"

Antonio: "Nu?"

Mario: "Why is the King not a King?

Lina: "Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore del Inglesa." (You have forgotten that you don't know how to speak English.)

Olivia: "Da King con furtiva mucho Bourbonoso, duce o trece la mia e diedia con strychnino! (The King loved his Bourbon too much and too many shots were laced with strychnine.)

Lina: "Non so piu cosa amore da Queen son Bourbon." (But I thought that the Queen also loved her Bourbon).

Olivia: "Ma se in lui. Dopo il salta, non son?" (She did. She married one, didn't she?)(She laughs wildly at her own joke)

Mario: "Si, Si. Da King esta muoio?"

At this point, Portfirio staggers into the hall, obviously drunk, and sings:

"Da King erbe dall'issimo 11 Bourbons con strychnino e lo sospiri son muoio? Lo arse!" (The King swigs 11 bourbons laced with strychnine and you ask whether he is dead? Ass!)

All leave the stage and the curtain falls on Act II. A troop of horses ridden by the Italian soldiers who had to remain off stage gallop across the stage singing "O Gallop Mio."

Carolina and Claudia are seen hiding behind an old elm tree. Downstage, there lies a body with a sword protruding from the chest. It is Mario. Upstage, Luigi is dueling with Enrico.

Luigi: "Ugh."

Enrico: "Ha!"

Luigi: "Ho!"

Enrico: "Ah!"

Luigi: "Ouch. Mi stabborini e che cadro momento! Vi dico me morta a lo. (Ouch. You have stabbed me, you clumsy ox. Woe is me for I am dead!).

Two French soldiers, hearing Luigi's last remark, enter and drag off his body, singing of the beauty of the mountains and the sea while he protests that he is not yet dead. They do not believe him.

Soldiers: D'impegnar la padrona grazia, il vostro arrivo lo posse montagnas pistachio la e la mare indigo, non? (It must be nice to be dragged across the land and to be dumped into a hole beside the green mountains and the blue sea). Sir Roger happens upon the scene, watches awhile, and sings: "Oh, I say!" and disappears. Just as he exits stage left, four Italian soldiers carrying a casket enter stage right, singing "Oh, Good Grief! Here Comes Some More." Enter six French soldiers carrying two bodies with jeweled daggers buried in their chests as the soldiers chant the aria "How Beautiful the Morning." Sir Roger reappears, this time with Lina, and again studies the situation. They sing the popular duet: "Oh, Dear Me."

Enrico enters; there is a puzzled look on his face. He sings the powerful "Air to a Dromedary" and walks to the edge of the stage. He stands silent and motionless for a few minutes. Sir Roger enters attired in a scarlet and gold cape, the symbols of his office. He turns to Enrico and sings "O Filio Mio." (Oh, My Son!) They fall into one another's arms and sing the aria "A Che Vinisti?" (What Brought You Here?")

Enrico: "Se miami ancor l'ava tua condusse?" (Are you really my father who has come all the way from Miami?)

Sir Roger: "Si. Io figgi tu amore Carolina." (Yes. I came here because of my love for Carolina").

Enrico: "Come chiamar fratello or che mi resta e amore. Mi battaglio mio papa?" (But I am deeply in love with her also. Must I fight my own father for her?)

Carolina enters and embraces Enrico. She sings "Se Io Pastrami Con Carne Suo Madre!" (It is all right. I am your mother!) The trio sings "O Trece Eta Complicadio" (Life gets too complicated.) and they walk off the stage arm-in-arm.

It is a dark, cold, moonless night. Enter Portfirio disguised as Enrico. He discovers LaFiorini, whom he takes to be Mario because he cannot see well in the dark and besides, he is quite near-sighted. Portfirio attacks LaFiorini who does not defend himself, thinking that it is Magda Serpio who is attacking him and she is known to be terrible at sword play.

In the meantime Magda Serpio softly approaches the garden, singing "La chezzo donna goudo"(The Cheese Is Mighty Good!) She is wrapped in Luigi's tunic in order to escape the chilly breezes. She is joined by Claudia and they are seen by Bettarini. He assumes that it is Guillaume and Olivia and, harboring great animus toward everything French, he falls upon Claudia (thinking that it was Guillaume that he was attacking) and dispatches her while they sing the well-known trio "Why Do You Lisp So, My Darling?"

Portfirio calls out to Magda Serpio believing her to be Carolina, who had borrowed Claudia's long cape. Portfirio stabs Magda Serpio thinking that it is Bettarini. When Starinnio arrives, alarmed by the sounds of furious battle, he surveys the ghastly scene and breaks out with the great Italian aria: "O Garlic Feh!" After a brief silence, he announces softly to those who are left standing:

Notes:
1. Pronounced " Care-o-leena"
2. Pronounced "Lee-nuh"

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